The D-List for the Month of August

Albert Haynesworth - for extending his stay on the PUP (Physically Unable to Perform) list to start Redskins’ training camp due to his inability to pass his conditioning test. Certainly d-case behavior having all off-season to improve his physical condition, and instead he comes in worse than before. Haynesworth couldn’t pass the test last Thursday, then on Friday took an extended bathroom break in the middle of testing so he could catch his breath, took Saturday and Sunday off, had to stop in the middle of testing yesterday, and has withdrawn from trying to test today. On top of that, Mike Golic of Mike & Mike on ESPN Radio took the same (or at least similar) conditioning test and was able to pass it despite being out of the league for 16 years.
http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5j4qCGpW8XgotE88x22YewCNmDdygD9HC0GB81 http://www.tvsquad.com/2010/08/03/mike-golic-passes-the-haynesworth-fitness-test-after-challenge-f/

Les Miles, LSU Football Coach - For deliberating over-signing (signing more recruits than he had scholarships available to give) his 2009 recruiting class. And for waiting until August to finally get around to telling OL recruit Elliott Porter that there wouldn't be a scholarship for him this year. As Porter tells the story: "I got called to coach Miles' office. I had no idea it was coming," Porter said of his being asked by LSU to 'grayshirt' this season and re-enroll next year. "He just told me that they didn't have room for me. I moved out of my dorm today and I am now back home trying to figure everything out. It's been a rough 24 hours."
http://rivals.yahoo.com/ncaa/football/blog/dr_saturday/post/LSU-s-ship-has-two-men-too-many-so-Elliott-Port?urn=ncaaf-260264

Portland Oregon Health Inspectors - for shutting down a little girl's lemonade stand because she didn't have a restaurant license. When your job is reduced to intimidating children, you're officially a d-case.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/38592078/ns/us_news-life/?GT1=43001

Kevin Gilman - for stealing a ladder, going to jail after being identified by the victim, getting released from jail, and then going back to jail for trying to sell the same ladder to the same victim. It takes a special kind of person to be this stupid.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/38648232/ns/local_news-portland_or/

Francisco Rodriguez - The closer for the Mets got into a fight (in which punches were thrown) with his father-in-law in the tunnel to the clubhouse after a game recently. As one of the articles lists the consequences of the fight: 1. Rodriguez experiences the indignity of literally fighting with family in front of, figuratively, the whole world. 2. The Mets suspend him. 3. He's arrested on a charge of third-degree assault and put into Mets Jail at Citi Field. 4. Doctors find a torn ligament in his thumb, which requires surgery that ends his season. 5. He faces the prospect of losing millions of dollars if the Mets void his contract.
http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/blog/big_league_stew/post/Mets-Rodriguez-arrested-charged-with-assault-o;_ylt=ArJCsAJYlTs3njvCVFkI1qOrO4d4?urn=mlb-261907
http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/blog/big_league_stew/post/Report-Mets-will-look-into-voiding-Francisco-Ro;_ylt=Ao_xtLyMG8c.MIth0UMNmz8RvLYF?urn=mlb-262937

Udonis Haslem - for being cited for illegal car tint and unlawful speed which led to his arrest for possession of marijuana. Apparently the way to celebrate signing a new deal and riding the coattails of the newly formed, overwhelming favorite in the Eastern conference, is to spend a Sunday afternoon cruising around with one of your cronies and a fresh bag of South Beach doobage…oh and apparently the best way to take in this NBA past time is by attracting attention from the local authorities by speeding around in an illegally tinted car.
http://www.bostonherald.com/sports/basketball/other_nba/view.bg?articleid=1274982&srvc=rss

Dorothy “Dot” Davidson, mayoral candidate in Bessemer, Alabama - for running for mayor in the town of Bessemer, Alabama and falsely using an endorsement from University of Alabama’s head football coach Nick Saban. For those of you who might be unaware football in Alabama is sacred, which makes Nick Saban, head coach of the defending national champion Crimson Tide, their own personal Jesus. Davidson’s camp sent out flyers emblazoned with a photo of Saban and Davidson and the words: “Nick Saban fully supports Dorothy 'Dot' Davidson, and thinks she would be an excellent mayor for the City of Bessemer.” Well turns out the image was actually a photoshopped picture of Saban and his wife during a golf outing and Saban had never endorsed Davidson in any way. Photoshopping any image is a bold maneuver (see: BP, D-Case for the 3rd Week of July) all by itself, doctoring an image to put yourself in place of a local icon’s wife is something else entirely…its’ entirely D-Case.
http://www.cbsnews.com/8300-503544_162-503544.html?keyword=Photoshop

Jeffrey Loria & Miami-Dade County Officials - For the absurd sleaziness of Loria and the pure idiocy of the Miami-Dad County officials displayed in the new stadium deal for the Florida Marlins. Loria is the owner of the Florida Marlins, and has been claiming for years that the Marlins lose money and can't pay for a new stadium and needed the taxpayers to foot the bill for him. Well, as detailed by the article linked below, some of the Marlins' financial documents were leaked and have been published by Deadspin. As the article says, "The team fought to conceal the $48.9 million in profits over the last two years because the revelation would have prompted county commissioners to insist the team provide more funding." As for the D-case-ness of the Miami-Dade County officials, not only did they allow Loria to get away with footing the taxpayers with the bill while raking in large profits, but here's one of the loans they've agreed to as part of financing the new stadium:
"According to the Miami Herald, J.P. Morgan gave a $91 million note – $80 million of which will go toward construction – that from 2041-47 will cost $118 million per year. In all, the county will spend $1.2 billion to pay off $91 million."http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/news;_ylt=Aoj0jfvDv2cQIVjfnh3sKGARvLYF?slug=jp-marlinsfinancials082410