D-Case of the Week - May Wk 4: Ann Curry

The Today Show host was giving a commencement speech at Wheaton College, and, well, it wasn't perfect: Talk about most embarrassing moments. In a commencement speech to graduates at Wheaton College in Massachusetts on Saturday, the "Today" show's Ann Curry named some of the famous alumni they were joining. Unfortunately, the graduates she named, including Billy Graham, went to a different Wheaton College -- an evangelical school in Illinois with the same name.

http://www.aolnews.com/nation/article/ann-curry-names-alumni-of-wrong-wheaton-college-in-commencement-speech/19490229

D-Case of the Week - May Wk4: Voting Breakdown

The D-List: 2010 May Week 4

London Olympic Committee - for their ridiculous mascot choices for the London 2012 Games
http://sports.yahoo.com/olympics/vancouver/blog/fourth_place_medal/post/London-unveils-creepy-looking-mascots-for-2012-O?urn=oly,242206

Ann Curry - The Today Show host was giving a commencement speech at Wheaton College, and, well, it wasn't perfect: Talk about most embarrassing moments. In a commencement speech to graduates at Wheaton College in Massachusetts on Saturday, the "Today" show's Ann Curry named some of the famous alumni they were joining. Unfortunately, the graduates she named, including Billy Graham, went to a different Wheaton College -- an evangelical school in Illinois with the same name.
http://www.aolnews.com/nation/article/ann-curry-names-alumni-of-wrong-wheaton-college-in-commencement-speech/19490229

Dwayne Bowe - for his role as an “importer” of women to Chief’s away games. In a recent interview with ESPN The Magazine Bowe gave all the details regarding the importing of women. Apparently Chiefs’ players would meet women on social networking sites and fly them to the hotels where the team had booked an entire floor to fill with the so-called “imports”. “…some of my teammates had it set up so there was a girl in every room. The older guys get on MySpace and Facebook a week before we go to a city; when a pretty one writes back, they arrange to fly her in three or four days in advance. They call it importing.” "Younger guys don't have the money to do it. Anyway, these girls had the whole top floor. They know everything about us -- first and last names, sisters and brothers, salary. This one girl was talking to me like she'd known me for years. 'Hey, D-Bowe, how's Grandma?' I'm like, 'How do you know my grandma?' She knew that I talk about her every time I'm interviewed for a story.”
http://content.usatoday.com/communities/thehuddle/post/2010/05/dwayne-bowe-says-chiefs-veterans-were-importing-women-to-hotel-rooms-on-road-trips/1

North Korea - On May 20 an international commission said that the South Korean ship ROKS Cheonan was sunk by a North Korean torpedo attack on March 26 despite North Korea denying any involvement in the sinking (go figure). A dredging ship found an exploded torpedo at the site of the incident that basically said PROPERTY OF NORTH KOREA. South Korea has suspended nearly all trade with the Northies as a result.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ROKS_Cheonan_(PCC-772)

Kansas Basketball Ticket Scalpers - David and Dana Pumps and David Freeman just were exposed for illegally scalping tickets from Kansas and other Big 12 allocated tickets for the past decade. They have made over an excess of $1 million according to one account. Illegal recruiting methods are now being alleged.
http://rivals.yahoo.com/ncaa/basketball/news;_ylt=Aoyp0uOAA_YAEpCTpCMEdsw5nYcB?slug=ys-kutickets052610

Paul Pierce - Enough Said

D-Case of the Week Sequel: The Blind Side 2

D-Case of the Week, May Wk3: Spencer Pratt

I think Spencer should be up for a D-Case lifetime achievement award. I am not clear on the path one must take (if you have to first be Week, then Month, then Life?) but he is the epitome of a D-Case. His most recent antics involve the wearing and carrying of crystals to keep bad spirits and thoughts away. If anyone has even seen 5 minutes of him before this just puts the icing on the D-Cake.

D-Case of the Week, May Wk3: Voting Breakdown

The (un)Official Major League Baseball Ballclub-Specific Fan Deterrent Policy

Arizona Diamondbacks: check their papers, if they don’t have any give them the choice between being deported or thrown into the snake pit.
Atlanta Braves: sic John Rocker on the unfortunate fan (May God have mercy on his soul).
Baltimore Orioles: force the fan to beat Cal Ripken’s consecutive game streak of 2,632, but as an attendee of course...subjecting a fan to that many losses should be a sufficient deterrent.
Boston Red Sox: hire LOST’s Smoke Monster (soon to be out of work), dye it green, and keep it under the grandstands in left field, i.e. the real life “Green Monster”.
Chicago Cubs: no one will notice, because no one goes to a Cubs game to actually watch the game, only to drink and talk on their cell phones.
Chicago White Sox: secretly give all base-coaches knives, so that when knife-wielding father/son duos attack them, the jokes on them.
Cincinnati Reds: send the fan to a gulag in Siberia (connect the dots…Reds --> Communists)
Cleveland Indians: scalping.
Colorado Rockies: the thin air will quickly tire the fan out, at which point he will be apprehended and placed in a humidor
Detroit Tigers: have a caged tiger to be released onto any fan that chooses to enter the playing field.
Florida Marlins: play “Marlins will Soar” by Scott Stapp (formerly of Creed) to scare any and all from the premises.
Houston Astros: strap their ass to a rocket and send them to the moon.
Kansas City Royals: give the fan season tickets, that’ll teach him.
Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim: have a cage full of rabid thunderstick-welding rally-monkeys on hand ready to unleash one hell of a beating.
Los Angeles Dodgers: sic a crazed blonde onto the fan that will threaten to marry and divorce the fan and take all their money.
Milwaukee Brewers: smash beer steins over the head of the fan OR force the fan to drink until he’s obliterated, duct-tape his mouth shut, and then dress him up as Bernie Brewer (the team mascot).
Minnesota Twins: in the unlikely event that a fan does go on the field, the Twins will simply not resign him or they'll trade him to the Yankees, Mets, or Red Sox.
New York Mets: the fan will turn out to be washed up or injured, so then the Mets will just wait their contract out and repeat the same mistake later.
New York Yankees: pile loads of cash on the fan until the weight of the money is too great for the fan to move and incapacitates them AND/OR give the security guard a pillow case full of 27 World Series rings to subdue the fan.
Oakland Athletics: the fan will be escorted to the bathroom where Jose Canseco awaits to deliver an unparalleled beating and/or a cycle of steroids.
Philadelphia Phillies: taser, obviously.
Pittsburgh Pirates: give the fan a glove, maybe he can help out.
San Diego Padres: all members of security and ground crews will dawn the Padre Camouflage in order to flank and incapacitate the fan.
San Francisco Giants: build a Giant catapult in foul territory for launching trespassers into McCovey Cove. The ground rules for a catapult in foul territory could be tricky, but it’s worth a shot.
Seattle Mariners: revoke the fan’s Frequent Frappe Starbucks club card
St. Louis Cardinals: Albert Pujols the Cardinal will attack the fan and subdue him (http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/blog/big_league_stew/post/-Albert-Pujols-angrily-attacks-a-TV-reporter-in?urn=mlb,241589).
Tampa Bay Rays: let the fan be, just be happy they’re actually at the game.
Texas Rangers: a ranger on a horse to lasso the fan in question.
Toronto Blue Jays: the Mounties will approach the fan and very politely ask him to leave, eh.
Washington Nationals: force the fan into contract negotiations with the ballclub, that seemed to almost be enough to make Steven Strasburg skip town, and they were offering the dude millions.

The D-List: 2010 May Week 3

Spencer Pratt - I still occasionally watch The Hills on MTV for some reason, and I think Spencer should be up for a D-Case lifetime achievement award. I am not clear on the path one must take (if you have to first be Week, then Month, then Life?) but he is the epitome of a D-Case. His most recent antics involve the wearing and carrying of crystals to keep bad spirits and thoughts away. If anyone has even seen 5 minutes of him before this just puts the icing on the D-Cake.
http://www.litelysalted.com/2010/05/spencer-pratt-has-hundreds-of-magic-crys.php

Hanley Ramirez - For not hustling to a ball, getting benched, then calling out his coach for never playing in the big leagues. A classless move by a classless individual.
http://content.usatoday.com/communities/dailypitch/post/2010/05/south-florida-backs-gonzalez-in-ramirez-dispute-by-93-95/1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQcIOjIwREU

U.S. Cable Companies - for failing to get with the times and give us what we want, when we want it.

Lincoln East High Alum (identity TBD) - for fabricating ‘green cards’ because East High was playing the heavily Latino Omaha South team in the State Championship Soccer game. Because the initial green card demonstration failed, this particular individual tossed the green cards into the air as he rushed the field as a last gasp to execute his plan to some degree.
http://www.wowt.com/home/headlines/94293839.html

East High Green Card Incident Over-Reacters - many people, in reaction to the green card incident, are calling for East High to forfeit their championship. While the stunt was probably not a good idea, especially in today’s hyper-sensitive racial climate, a bad decision by a few fans after the game has nothing to do with what was done on the field. Below are just a few of the comments taken from the discussion board for the article on the situation: - “My opinions on the situation. Its pretty predictable that the team was in on the idea, revoke them of their medals. An apology is necessary. How did the coach act when the event happened would be necessary to look at as well. Seeing something like that on the news was pretty disgusting to view.” “Take the medals and championship away from Lincoln East.” “This is no different than when the European players throw bananas at the African players in ’professional soccer.’ This is soccer a sport that should require sportsmanship. If I was South I would ban playing any more games with Lincoln East for the next year. They should be stripped of thier titles for thier lack of sportsmanship and class.”
http://www.wowt.com/home/headlines/94293839.html

D-Case of the Week - May Wk2: Mike Knowles, Monrovia H.S. Track Coach

For pointing out a string friendship bracelet on the wrist of Robin Laird, a South Pasadena high school pole vaulter, following her team title clinching pole vault so that his Monrovia team would take the title. The friendship bracelet was apparently a violation of Section 3, Article 3 of the Nat'l Federation of State High Schools Association: "jewelry shall not be worn by contestants." As a result Laird was disqualified and the team title was taken away from South Pasadena and given to Monrovia. Knowles response to it all: "It's unfortunate, that's all I can say. It's unfortunate for the young lady. But you've got to teach the kids that rules are rules."
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2010/highschool/05/11/track.controversy/index.html

D-Case of the Week - May Wk2: Voting Breakdown

The D-List: 2010 May Week 2

James Williams - for going on a destructive crime spree following a dispute over a Nintendo Wii game. The destructive spree included going after several people in his mobile home park with a bat, biting his mother on the ankle, intentionally ramming several cars, a pedestrian, and a tree. When the police arrived Williams ran at the police cruiser and jumped on the hood. Then dude got tased and arrested.
http://www.thedenverchannel.com/news/23486636/detail.html

Alex Sink, Florida CFO and gubernatorial candidate - when speaking at the coronation for UCF, the University of Central Florida, she was booed multiple times for referring to UCF as USF, UCF’s state rival the University of Southern Florida, more than once. She did at least pause for a moment on stage to say she deserved to boo herself for that and "I think I better just get off the stage right now,” she did however remain on stage after admitting defeat.
http://articles.orlandosentinel.com/2010-05-07/news/os-sink-gaffe-ucf-05-07-2010-20100507_1_usf-students-florida-cfo-ucf-arena

Lawrence Taylor - For breaking the law with an underage girl younger than his own daughter. I think further detail isn’t really appropriate in this case.
http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/football/giants/2010/05/08/2010-05-08_lts_arrest_saddens_giants_family.html?page=2

Thomas Menino, Mayor of Boston - for being the most recent politician to flub a sports reference when at the unveiling of a statue of Boston Bruins’ hockey legend Bobby Orr. Menino referred to “ionic” moments in Boston sports history such as “Havlicek stole the ball; Fisk waving the ball fair; Flutie launching the Hail Mary pass; and Varitek splitting the uprights.’’ (as opposed to Adam Vinatieri formerly of the Patriots).
http://www.boston.com/sports/hockey/bruins/articles/2010/05/11/fans_get_no_kick_out_of_menino_flub/

Keith Hernandez - In spite of his brilliant Seinfeld performances in the past, I'm going to have to nominate Keith, who is an announcer for the Mets, for falling asleep and having to be re-awakened while broadcasting a game:
http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/blog/big_league_stew/post/ModernTube-Keith-Hernandez-falls-asleep-during-?urn=mlb,239932

Ken Griffey Jr. - Last week, when some members of the press corps asked manager Don Wakamatsu why he hadn’t used Griffey as a pinch hitter for Rob Johnson late in a game, Wakamatsu was vague. Two Mariners players, however, weren’t. Both are younger players, fond of Griffey. Neither had an ax to grind. So why didn’t Wakamatsu go to Junior off the bench? “He was asleep in the clubhouse,” one player said. “He’d gone back about the fifth inning to get a jacket and didn’t come back. I went back in about the seventh inning – and he was in his chair, sound asleep.” The other player, who knows Griffey a little better, tried to rationalize. “He doesn’t sleep well at night, he’s away from his family, he’s comfortable in the clubhouse,” he said. “They could have awakened him …”
http://www.thenewstribune.com/2010/05/10/1181188/commentary-for-griffey-and-mariners.html

Guerdwich Montimere - for posing as a 16 year old Haitian immigrant named Jerry Joseph so he could play high school basketball, when he's actually 22, not from Haiti, and not in high school. Guerdwich was outed when AAU coaches from Florida recognized him at a tournament being played in Arkansas, as he had already played high school ball years earlier in the state of Florida.
http://www.usatoday.com/sports/preps/basketball/2010-05-12-montimere-permian-forfeit_N.htm

Mike Knowles, Monrovia H.S. track coach (California) - for pointing out a string friendship bracelet on the wrist of Robin Laird, a South Pasadena high school pole vaulter, following her team title clinching pole vault so that his Monrovia team would take the title. The friendship bracelet was apparently a violation of Section 3, Article 3 of the Nat'l Federation of State High Schools Association: "jewelry shall not be worn by contestants." As a result Laird was disqualified and the team title was taken away from South Pasadena and given to Monrovia. Knowles response to it all: "It's unfortunate, that's all I can say. It's unfortunate for the young lady. But you've got to teach the kids that rules are rules."
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2010/highschool/05/11/track.controversy/index.html

D-Case of the Week - May Wk1: Senators Johnny Isakson (R-Ga.) and Jay Rockefeller (D-W.Va.)

For presenting Bobby Cox with a cake congratulating him for his impending retirement after 50 years in baseball with a cake that spelled his last name wrong. As the article says: "Well, yes, were it not for the fact that Cox's last name was spelled wrong on the bottom of the cake that you see above. I don't need to tell you how they misspelled it, either, because your first and most lewd guess is absolutely correct."

http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/blog/big_league_stew/post/Senators-honor-Bobby-Cox-with-cake-in-need-of-co?urn=mlb,238877

D-Case of the Week - May Wk1: Voting Breakdown

The D-List: 2010 May Week 1

British Petroleum - For owning an oil rig that exploded, collapsed, and now pollutes the Gulf of Mexico with massive amounts of oil

Kobe Bryant - for posing in the LA Times Magazine fashion section in a very odd and puzzling manner, and coming off as just a little creepy.
http://www.latimesmagazine.com/2010/05/kobe-white-hot.html
http://probasketballtalk.nbcsports.com/2010/05/kobe-looks-odd-a-little-creepy-in-high-fashion-shoot.php

Faisal Shahzad - Attempted bombing of Times Square. A naturalized American citizen from Pakistan, he recently returned from a 5 month vacation in Pakistan (Learning to do what I imagine). Also, he was caught because he did not remove all of the Vin numbers from the vehicle he purchased in cash from a private seller. Authorities took the Vin from under the engine and matched it to the seller, who led them to Faisal. So not only did he try to bomb Times Square, he made a stupid error while trying to commit the crime.
http://www.cnn.com/2010/CRIME/05/04/new.york.car.bomb/index.html?hpt=T1&iref=BN1

Crude Oil (the natural resource) - I am so sick of CO. No matter where you turn you can’t get away from it. Sure it makes our lives more convenient, but its presence alone has completely warped the way our government, economy, and military make decisions. Not only that, but it turns out this naturally occurring substance is basically poison to the rest of the environment. Enough already Crude Oil. We get it.

The Seattle Mariners - For signing Milton Bradley. During Tuesday's game against the Rays: Bradley was removed from the game after a sixth inning strikeout. It was not a particularly good at-bat, with Bradley hacking away at some less-than-quality pitches early to get behind in the count, then, after battling back a bit, staring at a third strike down the middle. But that's not why he got benched. From what I'm told, Bradley came back to the dugout and told manager Don Wakamatsu something along the lines of "I'm done. I'm not helping the team.'' From there, he quickly packed and exited the stadium with the game still in progress.
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/marinersblog/2011785415_milton_bradley_packed_up_left.html

Senators Johnny Isakson (R-Ga.) and Jay Rockefeller (D-W.Va.) - For presenting Bobby Cox with a cake congratulating him for his impending retirement after 50 years in baseball with a cake that spelled his last name wrong. As the article says: "Well, yes, were it not for the fact that Cox's last name was spelled wrong on the bottom of the cake that you see above. I don't need to tell you how they misspelled it, either, because your first and most lewd guess is absolutely correct."
http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/blog/big_league_stew/post/Senators-honor-Bobby-Cox-with-cake-in-need-of-co?urn=mlb,238877

Justin Bieber and/or his fans - This 16 year old has been in the news for numerous D-Caseish happenings recently. First his mother was trampled in a mall by crazed fans. Then he goes on an interview and doesn’t know what the word German means. His fans then sent death threats to Kim Kardashian because of some Twitter comments. And to top it all off he has a very D-Casey hair cut.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/celebritynews/7643113/Mother-of-teen-star-Justin-Beiber-knocked-down-by-adoring-fans.html
http://www.myfoxboston.com/dpps/entertainment/justin-bieber-doesnt-know-german-dpgonc-20100505-fc_7386307
http://www.momlogic.com/2010/05/justin_bieber_fans_send_kim_ka.php

That girl who bit off a man’s ear in Lincoln - A Lincoln woman (I believe 19 or so) was outside a party when a man called her a “fat banana” or something to that effect. The girl charged the man and bit off a very large part of his ear. She is being charged with felony assault. You can find more information via google search if you so desire. I think the gentleman was rude to make his comment, but she was a total d-case for biting his frickin ear off.

D-Case of the Month - April: Matthew Clemmens

for intentionally vomiting on a little girl and her father at a game last week between the Phillies and the Nationals. Many unruly fans sitting in the area of off duty officer Michael Vangelo and his two daughters (ages 16 and 11), were escorted from the ballpark for their behavior. Clemmens, who was part of another group of unruly fans, decided to get involved by placing himself behind Michael Vangelo's 11 year old daughter's seat, intentionally gagging himself, and projectile vomiting all over her and her father. Clemmens then continued vomiting all over people as they wrestled him to the ground until security could apprehend him.

D-Case of the Month - April: Voting Breakdown

The D-List for the Month of April

U.S. Congressman Hank Johnson - Because the US Marines are apparently planning to relocate like 9,000 troops and their families to Guam, so there's Congressional hearings about it and such and Congressman Hank Johnson was speaking to a US Admiral when he expressed reservations about adding the troops to Guam because “My fear is that the whole island will become so overly populated that it will tip over and capsize”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l9R-cQ_A_6w

Shaun Rogers - Because the Cleveland Browns’ 350 pound defensive tackle was arrested last week at Cleveland Hopkins International Airport when he tried to board a plane with a loaded, .45 caliber, semi-automatic hand gun. Rogers has plead not guilty to the gun charges because he did not mean to take it in his carry-on.
http://bleacherreport.com/articles/372575-really-shaun-rogers-really

Barack Obama - For being an outspoken White Sox fan (that alone is not the reason) and being entirely unable to name a single favorite White Sox player when up in the broadcast booth after throwing out the first pitch on opening day for the Washington Nationals. His response to the question went something like this: "You know uh...I...I thought that ...uh...you know...The truth is a lot of the Cubs I like too! But, uh...I did not become a Sox fan until I moved to Chicago. Because I uh...I was growing up in Hawaii so I ended up actually being an Oakland A's fan..." On top of that, he referred to the White Sox ballpark as Cominskey Park (actual name: Comiskey)…and apparently it isn’t the first time he’s done this.
http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2010/04/06/president-obama-white-sox-fan-cant-name-favorite-player-growi/ http://blogs.suntimes.com/sportsprose/2010/04/president_barack_obama_not_qui.html http://www.midwestsportsfans.com/2009/07/president-barack-obama-calls-comiskey-park-cominskey-field/

Tiki Barber - For becoming the latest member in the elite club that Tiger Woods and Jesse James belong to. Tiki, who works for NBC, has recently left his wife who is 8 months pregnant with their twins, for a “hot” 23 year old NBC intern. Traci Johnson, the intern, and Tiki had been operating under the disguise that she was babysitting the Tiki’s kids.

Matthew Clemmens, Philadelphia Phillies Fan - for intentionally vomiting on a little girl and her father at a game last week between the Phillies and the Nationals. Many unruly fans sitting in the area of off duty officer Michael Vangelo and his two daughters (ages 16 and 11), were escorted from the ballpark for their behavior. Clemmens, who was part of another group of unruly fans, decided to get involved by placing himself behind Michael Vangelo's 11 year old daughter's seat, intentionally gagging himself, and projectile vomiting all over her and her father. Clemmens then continued vomiting all over people as they wrestled him to the ground until security could apprehend him.
http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=5098407

http://philly2philly.com/politics_community/politics_community_articles/2010/4/16/43836/philadelphia_fans_get_black_eye_when

http://www.nbcphiladelphia.com/news/local-beat/Off-Duty-Officer-Daughters-Assaulted-at-Phillies-Game-90983739.html

http://www.sbnation.com/2010/4/16/1425835/phillies-fan-vomits-on-off-duty

Hojjat ol-eslam Kazem Sediqihe - For stating a woman dressed provocatively caused an earthquake: "Many women who do not dress modestly lead young men astray and spread adultery in society which increases earthquakes"
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/8631775.stm

Securities and Exchange Commission - As the 2008 financial crisis was developing, top Securities and Exchange Commission employees and contractors were using government computers on official time to view pornography, according to an SEC inspector general. Of those employees, 17 of the 33 employees were senior officials whose salaries ranged from $100,000 to $222,000.
http://www.marketwatch.com/story/inspector-sec-staff-watched-porn-during-crisis-2010-04-23?reflink=MW_news_stmp
http://www.aolnews.com/nation/article/breakdown-just-how-pervy-were-the-sec-porn-fiends/19454355

Goldman Sachs Execs - While they may have been acting within the law (may have been), they clearly are money grubbing, money above all else d-cases that appear to be ripped from the movie Wall Street. Greed.
http://money.cnn.com/2010/04/27/news/companies/goldman_sachs_hearing/index.htm?hpt=T1